Back in the day in Dillon, Montana, a group of misfits grown bored with scratching their initials into rocks and trees were sitting around behind the potato cellar and came up with an idea. This wasn’t just any idea, it was an idea that would serve as a detriment to the lives thousands of people for years to come. This bold club of 40-watters decided to start a local newspaper. Having been scornful and afraid of intelligent people all their lives, the citizens decided that they would publish stories so awful that no intelligent life form would ever want to read them. (That is, unless they were forced to because it was the only paper in town and therefore the only way to get their window-cleaning coupons and determine what was playing at the local cinema.)
Anyway, this would be their revenge on society. So they began copying and pasting and printing stories about the happenings in the community, but with their own petty attempts to be funny at the expense of others, omissions, and typographical and grammatical errors. (Check the car wash “article” in the link below.) This led to much confusion about what was really going on in the community. It made the people who didn’t mind retaining a brain cell or two look bad, but there was nothing to be done.
Fast forward to the modern era. The paper is still printing, but it is even more worthless now. What kind of “daily” paper has a website so outdated that it only posts updates of the current edition once every three or four months? What kind of paper looks this crappy? What kind of newspaper prints a hodgepodge of the most racist elements from Pat Buchanan scribblings from over the years and tries to pass it off as a coherent article? (Would love to link to this but it will probably be a few months before it appears on the web. Check back in November. Here’s a low quality cell phone pic for now. And here are a couple of samples of the Buchanan crazy that the “article” includes in the amalgamation.)
UPDATE: A reader kindly sent another link to the Daily Dillonite, this link does not have every edition, but it does have more recent awfulness for our perusal.