Montana Republican Party Overrun with Foreigners; GOP Plans to Discuss Problem

As you all know, Montana Republicans are a nativist and xenophobic crew, who hurl “out-of-state” as a nasty insult and love to tout the number of generations back that their lineage has lived in Montana.

So we should assume that the GOP power brokers are currently holding an emergency meeting in a smoke-filled room somewhere, urgently trying to decide how to handle a shocking development within the party: the four major candidates running for Governor are all from out of state.

Rick Hill was born and raised in Minnesota; Ken Miller was born and raised in Colorado; Neil Livingstone was born in St. Louis; Corey Stapleton was born in Seattle, raised partly in Idaho.

Interestingly, Steve Bullock, the dems’ gub hopeful, was born and bred in Montana, but the GOP constantly attacks him (and even ran ads against him when he ran for AG) for having dared to attend law school in New York. And of course current Gov Brian Schweitzer was born in Havre, but the GOP often goes after him for his simply leaving the state on business.

So its a major embarrassment. Not a single GOP primary candidate can pass their own Montana purity test. This is an awful calamity that requires some remedy, quickly.

Because how on earth can anyone possibly be a dedicated public servant if he or she was born in another state? It’s inconceivable–a non-starter. Its as bad as if we had a Kenyan-born American president.

Also, other Republican out-of-state spies have previously infiltrated Montana politics. Conrad Burns was from Missouri. Roy Brown (2008 gubernatorial nominee) is from Wyoming and Steve Daines, Roy’s 2008 ticketmate and likely 2012 GOP nominee for Congress, was born in California. And Dave Lewis, lieutenant governor candidate in 2004, was born in South Dakota (meaning, shockingly, that only 1 out of 4 of the men on the last two gubernatorial tickets was from Montana.)

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13 Comments on "Montana Republican Party Overrun with Foreigners; GOP Plans to Discuss Problem"

  1. Saul?… is that you?…. back from the dead?

  2. I consider Rapid City to be part of south eastern Montana so I should get half credit for being born there.

  3. Really? Ridiculous post.

  4. Mr. Lewis and i aren’t the only people who fled Rapid City in disgust.

  5. Fascinating……..so much for the cultural ‘purity’ tests. General Thomas Francis Meagher – our first governor and the statue in front of our statehouse – was from Wexford, Ireland and served with distinction leading the Irish Brigade. Mayor (and Senator) Paris Gibson was born in Maine and was the founder of Great Falls, so being born out of state not a disqualification, except when those who would impose ‘Purity Tests’ on others can’t make the grade themselves, whether in voting to nullify and secede AND accepting Federal USDA and other federal benefits like military and VA payments while DENYING federal aid to the poor, destitute and hungry.

  6. The hallmark of any cult is that it replaces reason with feaverish belief–if the GOP holds themselves to their pown standards, there will be no one left to stir the koolaid.

  7. What’s the deal with Stapleton’s eyes? Is his brow really low and thick, or is it some kind of optical illusion?

  8. Here’s the deal, Stapleton is glowering at us because he thinks it makes him look tough. At 5 foot 1 inch tall, he has a Napoleon complex which is making him think that appearing angry in ads will make us think he is tough, when in reality, he looks like an angry moron.

  9. saids, (My allergies have got me all goofed up)

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