Cowgirl Blog’s Best and Worst of 2012

Happy New Year Cowgirl readers! Here are some of the highlights and lowlights that made 2012 so memorable–and these Cowgirl posts the year’s most read.

 

Best book by a GOP candidate:

When Republican gubernatorial hopeful Neil Livingstone admitted to the Associated Press this year that he was once “a guest on a yacht full of hookers in Monte Carlo,” few people realized that Livingstone is actually a leading authority on such matters.

Indeed, it turns out that Livingstone actually published a detailed instructional manual in 1997, which provides candid advice for world business travelers on how to solicit a high-quality prostitute.

This is not a joke.  This valuable handbook appears as a chapter within a greater literary work by Livingstone, a book entitled Protect Yourself in an Uncertain World” (Amazon, $3.39 used).  You can read the Cowgirl Blog’s review of Livinstone’s masterpiece here.

 

Worst TEA Party call to action:

As a child I learned that empty vessels make the most noise.  That rings especially true this year after a Montana TEA Party leader called for a boycott of all news. The TEA Party leader said the boycott was needed because news agencies in Billings and elsewhere “are complicit in the destruction of America.”

 

Most hypocritical speech of 2012:

The award for this year’s Most Hypocritical Speech goes to Congressman Steve Daines. The congressman’s speech at the RNC lionized his ancestor as not being “Saved by Government” when that ancestor received a huge government handout in the form of a homestead under a federal program called the Homestead Act.

 

Best way to dispose of a TEA Party imbecile, for good:

Part of what has made Governor Brian Schweitzer one of the most popular governors in America is his ability to stand up to the TEA Party. This made How to Dispose of a Tea Party Imbecile, For Good one of 2012’s most popular posts.

 

Montana’s stalest political cliches:

Two hackneyed phrases sucked the last shred meaning out of Montana political pablum this year more than any others.

The phrase “double down” became so overused in Montana politics that anyone who hears or reads it now doubles over.  Enough already.

And any time you hear a politician propose, “a uniquely Montana solution,” notice that the cliche is never followed by an actual example of what that solution might be.  Everyone knows that the people spewing this nonsense are doing so to disguise the fact they they have no actual solutions to offer.  Offenders, you know who you are.

 

Best example of ridiculous Fox News lies:

Fox News this week called the Westboro Baptist Church a “left-wing cult” in their story about the group’s protests of the Newtown shooting victims’ funerals. As the Atlantic Wire asks, “if these people are “left-wing,” just how far “right” is Fox News?

 

Most outlandish conspiracy theories: 

A Montana legislator is behind both of 2012’s dumbest conspiracy theories.  Chair of the House Judiciary Committee Rep. Krayton Kerns (R-Laurel) this year authored the conspiratorial screed on how birth control is the “death nail in the coffin of our Republic”. He also made national headlines after the Cowgirl blog uncovered his belief that the relocation of 60 bison — which he blamed on Walt Disney’s movie “Bambi” — could lead to $25 a gallon gas prices as part of a liberal government plot.

 

Worst movie of the year:

Kalispell movie producer Gerald Molen can’t figure out why the Academy overlooked this high quality of this piece of fine art.  Perhaps because is is actually one of the single most oppressively embarrassing movies ever made, reaching levels of galling unwatchability.  Meanwhile, the director and writer of the movie, and the author of the book on which it is based, has been caught with his pants down.

 

 

Posted: January 1, 2013 at 8:46 am

This post was written by Cowgirl

14 thoughts on “Cowgirl Blog’s Best and Worst of 2012

  1. Larry Kralj, Environmental Rangers

    I almost feel sad for Jerkoff Jerry Moolen. What a buffoon. His is really a sad, pathetic case. The dude could’a slipped into eternity with his achievements intact. But nooooooo! Just like a punch drunk fighter that doesn’t know when to quit, Jerkoff Jerry Moolen just HAD to climb back in the ring one more time. He HAD to try it. Couldn’t resist. Once more. Resurrect the ol’ fighting spirit. For the Great Mormon Hope! For the CHAMPEENship!

    But, alas, he lost his dumbass. One has to wonder just what made him do it! For you see, some his other productions were kind of noteworthy at least. Hence, one would ASSume that the guy wasn’t a total horse’s ass!

    Yet that is exactly what he proved himself to be! Any of you dramatists out there maybe can explain to me just what the character flaw is that made this man go from Schindler’s List to Swindler’s Shit, for I don’t have a clue.

    But there’s gotta be sumthin’ there. Was it his Moron Church that made him do it? Was it Bibi Netanf*ckyou? Was it his oversized ego? I dunno. But in ANY event, now the guy will go down in history as a dude who had some successes, but BLEW it all to hell with has assHOLIness! The Great Mormon Hope turned out to the the Great Mormon Dope! Name of Jerkoff Jerry Moolen!

    p.s. But HEY, Jerkoff Jerry DID pad his retirement with that bizarro movie! But was it worth it, to lose your artistic soul AND your integrity and reputation for worthless gold?! Sad, so sad. Now, every place he goes folks will say, “HEY, there goes Jerkoff Jerry Moolen, Bibi’s Bitch”! And snicker behind his back. Is THAT really worth ill-gotten gains? I couldn’t do it. I’d rather die dead broke than with a pocket full of gold and snickers every where I go!

  2. Publius II

    I would remind Congressman-Elect (yep, we’ll see if ‘Bain’ Boehner will swear in ALL of his new ‘boyz’ properly this time, instead of the two knuckleheads who tooker their oath over the TV?) Steve Daines that his stoic ancestors ALSO benefited from the ‘Gummint’ Soil Bank and Conservation services that SAVED Montana agriculture during the Depression, and it was Daine’s Corporate Cronies that stepped in to help ‘Ma and Pa’ on the farm. Also how about that SUBSIDIZED Rural Utiliity Service GOP and teabaggers, the ‘gummint’ that brought Rural America electricity and telephones to the Republican ranchers and farmers that keep DENYING they’re gettting ‘Gummnint’ help, like all those USDA farm payments, Medicare, Soc. Security, federal retirements and such? How about all the ‘Gummint’ business Mr. Daines benefited from? Maybe he should send back that ‘tainted’ money?

  3. Publius II

    The GOP corporate cronies past and present – like Henry Potter – NEVER did and will never step in to help Rural Americans but keep the mythical image of the lone and stoic cowboy (who doesn’t make enough usually in income tax – one of ‘those’ 47 percent slackers – but is still getting whacked in payroll tax) fighting for those ‘Cowboy Codes’ where not everything is for sale – EXCEPT YOUR VOTE>

      1. Norma Duffy (@Ilikewoods)

        Ah well I am a Patriots & 49rs Fan myself, so we will see how the Broncos stack up against New England pretty soon. Personally, I think, The Green Machine has the best chance again Darn it. But Hey anythings possible.

        My prediction is the GOP will close government down again in a couple of months( Because they haven’t learned yet) and only the tea party base will be left when their done.

        Painting a lithium battery on anything solid will be sold by the end of the year, No really!

        Tuna, and seafood from the upper west coast, and Asian east coast will have unexceptable levels of Radiation in them, making it unuseable in Markets of the United States ( Fukushima is still spilling large amounts of radiation into the ocean). so all of a sudden that new genetic Farm Salmon they quietly gave FDA approval will be considered a safe meal.

        Sorry folks, I just call them like I see them! and since it is my opinion, and the GOP still haven’t told us exactly what they would cut out of tax loopholes,( remember Romney said he had a plan too, but no Details) I think we are in for another clusterf**k.

        1. Rob Kailey

          Just for the record, I don’t think anyone in the AFC playoffs can beat New England in Foxboro. I don’t think anyone in the AFC playoffs can beat the Broncos in Mile High. Hmmm…

  4. Farmboy

    Hey are you still going to be around in 2013, I mean since Governor Schweitzer is leaving I was just wondering if you will still be writting.

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