Happy New Year Cowgirl readers! Here are some of the highlights and lowlights that made 2012 so memorable–and these Cowgirl posts the year’s most read.
Best book by a GOP candidate:
When Republican gubernatorial hopeful Neil Livingstone admitted to the Associated Press this year that he was once “a guest on a yacht full of hookers in Monte Carlo,” few people realized that Livingstone is actually a leading authority on such matters.
Indeed, it turns out that Livingstone actually published a detailed instructional manual in 1997, which provides candid advice for world business travelers on how to solicit a high-quality prostitute.
This is not a joke. This valuable handbook appears as a chapter within a greater literary work by Livingstone, a book entitled “Protect Yourself in an Uncertain World” (Amazon, $3.39 used). You can read the Cowgirl Blog’s review of Livinstone’s masterpiece here.
Worst TEA Party call to action:
As a child I learned that empty vessels make the most noise. That rings especially true this year after a Montana TEA Party leader called for a boycott of all news. The TEA Party leader said the boycott was needed because news agencies in Billings and elsewhere “are complicit in the destruction of America.”
Most hypocritical speech of 2012:
The award for this year’s Most Hypocritical Speech goes to Congressman Steve Daines. The congressman’s speech at the RNC lionized his ancestor as not being “Saved by Government” when that ancestor received a huge government handout in the form of a homestead under a federal program called the Homestead Act.
Best way to dispose of a TEA Party imbecile, for good:
Part of what has made Governor Brian Schweitzer one of the most popular governors in America is his ability to stand up to the TEA Party. This made How to Dispose of a Tea Party Imbecile, For Good one of 2012’s most popular posts.
Montana’s stalest political cliches:
Two hackneyed phrases sucked the last shred meaning out of Montana political pablum this year more than any others.
The phrase “double down” became so overused in Montana politics that anyone who hears or reads it now doubles over. Enough already.
And any time you hear a politician propose, “a uniquely Montana solution,” notice that the cliche is never followed by an actual example of what that solution might be. Everyone knows that the people spewing this nonsense are doing so to disguise the fact they they have no actual solutions to offer. Offenders, you know who you are.
Best example of ridiculous Fox News lies:
Fox News this week called the Westboro Baptist Church a “left-wing cult” in their story about the group’s protests of the Newtown shooting victims’ funerals. As the Atlantic Wire asks, “if these people are “left-wing,” just how far “right” is Fox News?
Most outlandish conspiracy theories:
A Montana legislator is behind both of 2012’s dumbest conspiracy theories. Chair of the House Judiciary Committee Rep. Krayton Kerns (R-Laurel) this year authored the conspiratorial screed on how birth control is the “death nail in the coffin of our Republic”. He also made national headlines after the Cowgirl blog uncovered his belief that the relocation of 60 bison — which he blamed on Walt Disney’s movie “Bambi” — could lead to $25 a gallon gas prices as part of a liberal government plot.
Worst movie of the year:
Kalispell movie producer Gerald Molen can’t figure out why the Academy overlooked this high quality of this piece of fine art. Perhaps because is is actually one of the single most oppressively embarrassing movies ever made, reaching levels of galling unwatchability. Meanwhile, the director and writer of the movie, and the author of the book on which it is based, has been caught with his pants down.