Montana Lawmaker Explains His Theory of Sex

by Cowgirl

This is a video you have to see to believe. Here’s Rep. Dave Hagrstrom (R-Billings) explains his theory of sex on the house floor of the Montana Legislature during an official session of that body. (Hint: It involves a ballpoint pen.)

Hagstrom was urging lawmakers to oppose a measure that would finally remove from state law language that makes being gay an imprisonable felony.

What’s even more shocking is that nearly 1/3 of the Montana legislature voted to keep prison time for gay people on the books. Thirty-six Montana legislators in the House and ten in the Senate, all Republicans, voted to do so. Below is a list of those lawmakers. The bill is SB 107.

(Note: Viewers report this KXLH video format (flash) isn’t viewable on iphone  – if you can’t see it, you’ll want to get to another computer. KXLH is looking into the problem.  If they do perhaps they can turn off the autoplay for their videos at the same time. I changed the video’s setting here but most people won’t.  Autoplay limits vids going viral because no one wants to post them as it repels viewers. When you open a website and a video or music starts playing automatically, most people will immediately click out.)


Lang, Mike N
Randall, Lee, N
Ballance, Nancy N
Flynn, Kelly N
Laszloffy, Sarah N
Galt, Wylie N
Regier, Keith N
Bennett, Gerald (Jerry) N
Lenz, Dennis N
Glimm, Carl N
Berry, Tom N
Greef, Edward N
Blasdel, Mark N  (Speaker of the House)
Blyton, Joanne N
Hagstrom, Dave N  (from the video above)
Smith, Cary N
Halvorson, David N
Brodehl, Randy N
Hansen, Kris N
Harris, Bill N
Vance, Gordon N
Wagoner, Kirk N
Warburton, Wendy N
Washburn, Ted N
Howard, David N
O’Neil, Jerry N
White, Kerry N
Doane, Alan N
Ingraham, Pat N
Osmundson, Ryan N
Edmunds, Champ N
Kary, Doug N
Ehli, Ron N
Kerns, Krayton N
Fiscus, Clayton N
Knudsen, Austin N


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34 Comments on "Montana Lawmaker Explains His Theory of Sex"

  1. There’ll be a ‘special’ place for folks on this list. Rep. Duane Ankney delivered a very moving address on the house floor and the folks on this list above should be ashamed of their ignorance and intolerance. What’s next, will the ‘folks’ listed also burn heretics at the stake, or ‘pray away the gay’ like Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann does and makes money from the feds on that?

  2. Oh my! Representative Hagstrom’s desire to make sex with a post-menopausal woman illegal is beyond the pale! Will his fight against non-procreative sex also mean that couples will now have to be tested for fertility before a marriage license will be issued?

  3. Larry Kralj, Environmental Rangers. | April 10, 2013 4:52 AM at 4:52 AM |


    I WONDERED who the next Birther Bob would be, and now we finally know. It’s Dave Fagstorm! He created a firestorm with his fag comments! And now, sure enough, it’s VIRAL! Once again Montana is the laughingstock of the entire nation! THANKS, Dave, and all you OTHER Talibeaner christofascist wackjobs!

    Here’s a quote from our pontiff, Pope Bennet-the-Dick!

    “It is the thief, the devil, that comes to steal our life, to kill us, to rob us. Christ said I come so that you might have life to the fullest,” Bennett said. “That’s my desire for everyone here.”

    Just WHO THE HELL is voting the freaking morons into office? And more importantly, WHY?! Do we REALLY look to the Lege for our sexual advice??

    Dear Dave,

    Try as I might, I STILL can’t seem to keep my “pen” in my pocket! That damn thing seems to have a mind of its own, and wants to come out and STAIN all over the place! What should I do? I want to be a good christofascist like you, but my pen won’t LET me!


    Dear Sinner,

    I recommend that every time you get the urge to use your pen for its “other” purpose, you look at a picture of Wendy Wharpedburpin’ NEKKED! Yep, that otter do it! If THAT don’t make that pen tip go back where it belongs, NUTHIN’ will!

    Your Holiness, Dave!


  4. The”other” party members are easy targets, many of them so plainly stupid that we cringe when they speak. Their heads are full of Rand and the Bible and guns and fear and hatred, and are so addled by that fear that they cannot think properly anymore. That’s a perfect platform for you to sit upon and bask in your own moral superiority. It would even work if you were morally superior beings.

    Right now your party is creating havoc and another human tragedy in Syria, goading North and South Korea into war, plotting to derail democracy in Venezuela, and The One is chipping chipping chipping away at our social contract, attacking not only Medicare, but the fiscally sound Social Security program. You’re sitting idly by because these are Democrats at work, and you are too clueless to see what is going on.

    So if you want to rail on the stupidity of the other party, fine. Just keep in mind that your party is presenting a serious threat to the health and survival of humans all over the globe. I would place the less stupid being, Hagrstrom, in the morally superior column, as he is relatively harmless. You guys are dangerous.

    • Can’t stay on point, Ignorant of the facts, unwilling to see the the broken windows of his own GOP House…. Mark the propagana dumper!!

      We had a peace plan with North Korea, during a Democratic presidency, until a republican got in office, and tossed the peace process in the garbage preferring to call North Korea the “Axis of evil.” Setting in Motion a purge of anyone who dared question us, causing two wars, defecating on our Budget surplus, and trying to subject an entire religion( Islam) to second class citizenship because christians are supposedly better at Fairy tale writing than muslims!

      Keep lying Mark, thats all your good for…. Fearmongering!

  5. I went to school with Dave many years ago in Billings. He is a decent man who runs a community organizing ministry in Billings. From all I have seen, he’s done a lot of good for a lot of people in Billings (he promotes affordable housing). However, Dave comes from a privileged background and, like most Republicans, believes that the reason people are poor is because they don’t have enough Jesus. Give them more Jesus and they won’t be poor. Or homosexual apparently. Maybe Black too? All that being said, his stupid comments do not justify some of the hateful name-calling I’m seeing here. Liberals are supposed to be tolerant of people who disagree with us. Being nice to folks is better than being bad to them–especially if you want to convince them to your point of view.

    • Larry Kralj, Environmental Rangers. | April 10, 2013 12:14 PM at 12:14 PM |

      “Liberals are supposed to be tolerant of people who disagree with us. Being nice to folks is better than being bad to them–especially if you want to convince them to your point of view.”

      Who are YOU, lance, the liberal HALL monitor??? bwhahahahahahaaaa! Sheesh, get a clue, dude.

      And ya wanna know something? Maybe you’re not the ONLY dude who knows Dave! Hell, he was in “The Family” looong before it was cool! Hell, I’ve even been to one of their “prayer meetings”! About thirty some years ago! Dave’s got it baaad, a baaad case of the christofascism! (BTW, Dave’s dad was doctor, and the guy who started the Beartooth Run. I used to run that thing from the beginning when I lived in Billings.)

      His “community organizing” work is simply a scam to get folks to join the Kockh brothers christofascism conspiracy! I HIGHLY suggest that you read The Family by Jeff Sharlett so that you MIGHT gain a wee bit of understanding as to just whom we’re dealing with here!

      Bottom line? Religious nuts are a REAL threat to this country, and one of the best ways to deal with them is the make fun of them! Sorry that you don’t like that, but you know what I always say…..TUFF NOOGIES, DUDE!

      BTW, did you REALLY disapprove of Charlie Chaplin’s wonderful parody of Hilter??? Maybe we should be NICE to christofascist Nazis!!!

      • Larry Kralj, Environmental Rangers. | April 10, 2013 1:14 PM at 1:14 PM |

        Can’t we all just get along? Well, no. We can’t. The nuts must be called out on their shit, and since the newspapers won’t do it, the blogs must.

        • Okay, I’ve read the Hagstrom rent letter and I agree: Dave has gone over to the Dark Side since I last saw and spoke with him 25 years ago. Sad. And yes, I was a hall monitor. Thirteen year olds behave badly and argue even worse when adults aren’t around. They sound a lot like you Larry, calling everybody Nazis. Those were the people who shoved human beings into crematoriums. Dave may be stupid with hypocritical values but he is a long way from being one of those. But, as Godwin’s Law informs us, people who have small vocabularies and minds like to use that word a lot. They don’t know enough others. Larry, I hope you show your mommy or daddy the nasty things you’ve written here; maybe they can speak to you about how the point of argumentation is to change minds. Unless you want to stay a troll of course.
          P.S. I’ve read Jeff Sharlett’s book and many others too. I could give a list.

          • Larry Kralj, Environmental Rangers. | April 10, 2013 2:45 PM at 2:45 PM |

            “But, as Godwin’s Law informs us, people who have small vocabularies and minds like to use that word a lot. They don’t know enough others.”

            Um, lance, en que idioma querrias hablar??
            Yo hablo solamente tres. Y yo se es MUY deficiente para halbar con un burro como ti!


            Um, lance, in CASE your missed it, the misguided beliefs. prejudices, and hatreds of the world’s religions have murdered, tortured, and abused WAY more people than Hitler ever THOUGHT about doing! THAT is why guys like Dave are Nazis! He belongs to the most evil, vile group in the world. True believers! Thus, they are right IN there with the Nazis!

            So, sorry, you lose. BTW, please give a brief summary of Sharlett’s book, and list those others you find relevant to this topic.

            • Larry Kralj, Environmental Rangers. | April 10, 2013 3:01 PM at 3:01 PM |

              Here, YOU convince’em with your “argumentation”, mr. hall monitor!



              • Larry Kralj, Environmental Rangers. | April 10, 2013 3:08 PM at 3:08 PM |

                The best comment I’ve read in a looong time regarding the christofascist assholes!

                “We simply ask you produce your god in court, and prove to a concesus of the scientific community through peer review that it is what you say it is, and that its opinions and desires be properly recorded in a court of law

                Until that time, theists belong heavily medicated, all clergy in prison,all churches seized, and all parents who pass on their mental illness arrested and charged with child abuse

                Fraud is not a civil right, mental illness is not a virtue. Prove it or accept that you’re sick, and if you’ve made a dime from lying to people that you need the harshest punishment allowable by law”

    • Lance, being tolerant in the face of hate is not a ‘liberal’ value, but rather a Christian one, one that Hagstrom has learned to conveniently ignore.

  6. All things considered, there could have been more of a fight. I sat my gay self down in front of my gay computer in the gay house I own and pay taxes on with my gay partner, anticipating an ugly and even more deeply ignorant display of bigotry.
    It may be sad, but I was glad it only lasted for 18 minutes.
    It’s been a helluva lot worse.

  7. Does this mean I have to divorce my wife of 42 years because we can’t have anymore kids? I think Mr. Hagstrom has caught his head in the Assmann’s cheeks.

  8. The logical conclusion based on Rep. Hagstroms definition of “deviant sex”, is that practicing religious couples who use the withdrawal method to prevent pregnancy are deviants.

    • Larry Kralj, Environmental Rangers. | April 10, 2013 12:31 PM at 12:31 PM |

      Wait! I just came across aNOTHER Dear Dave letter! Seems that LOTS of folks have some unresolved sexual dilemmas that they need help with!

      Dear Dave,

      So, you say that you are this really, really, REALLY religieesous wackjob nutcase dude. Well, here’s my question for you, and I want your honest answer.

      SO, Dave, from you speech, you imply that the ONLY time you use your “pen” is to procreate. WELL then, are you REALLY telling us that you’ve NEVER, EVER, EVER flicked your dick? er Bic? In other words, used your pen..(is) for choking thy chicken, flogging that mule, or spanking thy holy monkey???? For you SEE, Dave, if you DID, the Bible is pretty explicit in its punishment! God don’t LIKE chicken chokers! For the sin of choking thy chicken is DEATH!

      Now, here’s the problem I have, Dave. I have YET to meet a dude who HASN’T used his “pen” in this fashion, and hence, I’m quite sure that you have too! SO, why haven’t you yet KILLED your sorry, sinful, onanistc ass? Yes, that’s right, Dave, the punishment for Onanism is DEATH!

      How can that be, Dave. Did you REALLY not floggest thy mule at one time or another? Or are you just a lying hypocritical piece of crap???


      Bonobo Bob!

      Dear Mr. Bonobo Bob,

      Our God is a great and loving God. When I sin by touching my pen ’til it stains my shorts, OOOPS! I mean shirt, I fall down in prayer and beg forgiveness! And then, God tells me that for punishment, I must go out and spread the Word against sex and sinners! And once’t, after a preachin’ a huge sermon at my prayer meetin’, I go SO aroused with the holy spirit, that I went and abused my pen mercilessly for hours on end! And finally, I jumped a Finey bush! And busted my leg!”

      Hope this helps.


      • Larry Kralj, Environmental Rangers. | April 10, 2013 12:43 PM at 12:43 PM |

        Tom learns that Casy was the preacher who baptized him, but now Casy has “lost the call” and his faith [the preacher used to seduce the girls in his congregation]:

        Tom: Ain’t you the preacher?
        Casy: Used to be. Not no more. I lost the call. But boy, I sure used to have it. Oh, I used to get an irrigation ditch so squirmin’ full of repentant sinners I pretty near drowned half of ’em. Not no more. I lost the spirit. I got nothin’ to preach about no more, that’s all. I ain’t so sure of things.

        Like a religious madman, the gaunt-faced Casy represents religious principles, but functions as a secular saint. After Tom offers Casy a drink, the ex-preacher’s eyes glow as he moralizes about his beliefs:

        I asked myself, what is this here call(ed) Holy Spirit? Maybe that’s love. Why, I love everybody so much, I’m fit to bust sometimes. So – maybe there ain’t no sin, and there ain’t no virtue. There’s just what people does. Some things folks do is nice, and some ain’t so nice. And that’s all any man’s got a right to say. ‘Course I’ll say a grace if somebody sets out the food, but ma heart ain’t in it.

  9. Its physically painful to me how immensely ignorant so many of these people are up in the Capitol right now that get to vote on and make laws for the rest of us. I haven’t seen anything quite so cringe-worthy as this in a while.

  10. A quick review of Rep Hagstrom’s campaign page indicates that he got married in 1980 and has 4 grown children. But we must also conclude that he’s only had sex 4 times since 1980, which explains a lot.

    • Larry Kralj, Environmental Rangers. | April 11, 2013 6:47 AM at 6:47 AM |

      Wanna understand just where Rep. Fagstorm and Weny Wharpedburpin’ are comin’ from? I recommend the following:

      Although as jeff mentioned, Dave comes across as a nice man, and he probably is. He just went to the Dark Side to get his religion and politics, which are one in the same for the christofascists. They do NOT represent American ideals in the least. Far from it. They would be quite comfortable in a Taliban type religious setting, as long as it was called Christianity. Hell, look at Weny Wharpedburpin’s good buddy and pastor, Pastord Harris Slimes! He PUBLICLY called for the death of homosexuals! Now, just HOW is that different than the Taliban??

      And for all the equivalency folks out there who love to claim that both sides do it, WHERE is the Dem equivalent to this?? There ain’t any.

  11. Caitlin Piserchia | April 11, 2013 2:35 PM at 2:35 PM |

    What I took away from this is that homosexual sex prevents ink from leaking all over your nice shirts, which is something I’d think any reasonable person would want to avoid.

  12. Less than two weeks ago, the partner of a very good friend of ours died unexpectedly. These two women were lucky enough to be able to get married in June of last year because the laws in their state allowed them to. While the loss of her partner must have been devistating, at least they were able to spend almost a year as a married couple. There won’t be any problems dealing with inheritence or benefits. They were able to enjoy a year of the same kind of respect those of us who are heterosexual get to enjoy when we get married. I cannot stress strongly enough how much I support the idea of marraige equality or how disgusted I am by the neandrathals representing us in the Montana Legislature.

  13. Larry Kralj, Environmental Rangers. | April 11, 2013 9:19 PM at 9:19 PM |

    SHIT! Dave ol’ buddy, you did it! You not only went viral, you went NATIONAL, dude! And in kind of a funny sort of way! Whereas Birther Bob was a mean, nasty, racist asshole, YOU come across as simply a dumbass! That IS an improvement! I FEEL YOUR PAIN!


    I know you to be a decent man and human being. But Dave, so are many of the homosexuals you readily condemn! Your fucking bizarre religion has made you insane! Get away from the wackos! Go to the Beartooths and take a break! Re-CALIBRATE your soul! Being a bigoted asshole is NOT really your nature!

    • Of course not. He was too busy writing letters to his renters.

      • I hear there are several more such letters out there. Apparently he’s been writing them all session. I suppose his tenants threw them out as the garbage they are, but I do wonder what else this man is spewing and I suspect more letters will surface. Should the poor be expecting less response on child abuse? Less food in times of need? Did he tell them he’s accepted free health care provided to him on their dimes? A free laptop computer?

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