Knudsen Vows to Block 21st Century on First Day of Legislative Session

**NOTE: This is a satirical post- except the part about the rules change- Knudsen’s new power to block bills is not a joke, it’s real.**


Honing in on an issue that could become the cornerstone of a possible 2016 Gubernatorial campaign, embattled TEA Party Speaker of the House Austin Knudsen said this week that he would do everything in his power to block the twenty-first century.

“Liberals have perpetrated the myth that the twenty-first century can’t be stopped–that there’s nothing we can do about it,” Knudsen said. “’They have no concept of personal responsibility.  This buck stops with me. ”

Knudsen has been scurrying to put in place every possible mechanism to halt recognition of the current reality.  But not everyone agrees with what members of Knudsen’s own party see as a personal power grab. The TEA Party leader is planning to come in on the first day of the session to change the rules under which our laws are made to provide himself with additional opportunities to block…well, pretty much anything: from 21-century infrastructure to  21-century education, water compacts everyone else passed decades ago, and even modern medical coverage.

Knudsen said that, as Speaker of the House, “I’ve got me the power to stop any bill in danger of passing by sending it back to the House Appropriations committee for TEA Party Rep. Ballance (R-Bitterrooter) to kill. A majority of legislators used to be able to vote to stop me from doing that, but this year I’m changing the rules so that they need 60 votes to stop me, see.”

Explaining his strategy, Knudsen said that he and fellow Republicans like Debra Lamm (R-TEA Livingston) and Tom Burnett (R-TEA Bozeman) were exploring ways to stop funding any items in the Montana budget that pertain to the current century. “We cannot stop time, perhaps, but we can defund it,” Knudson said.

Lamm agreed. “I don’t see this as a light switch where all the sudden a new century is dumped on Montana,” she explained, “I do think we need a logical transition and study period … to be reasonable about what we can handle.”

Democratic Gov. Steve Bullock has proposed starting with the present date and–even looking at how the state’s actions could benefit future generations–as the most accurate and effective way to proceed. The governor has long favored focusing on smart and realistic strategies that have already proven to be successful–something governors of both parties in other states have done.

But TEA Party Appropriations Chair Nancy Ballance argued that such decisions are better left in the legislature’s hands, not the governor’s.  She expressed disappointment that Bullock or a representative hadn’t been more engaged in discussions with her earlier, saying he had ignored the deliberations of a blue ribbon panel legislators had convened to look at the impacts the 21st century would have on the state.  “Pasteurization may have worked in North Dakota for 150 years, but that ain’t how we do things in the Bitterroot.”

Tom Burnett agreed.  He said there is a good chance that, in a public school classroom, our children will adopt 21-century ideas and the kind of knowledge that they can apply in a 21-century economy.  “Understanding how liberals indoctrinate our youth with Satan and Communism may may help us develop strategies that more effectively stop the 21st century from happening.”

In a scathing attack, Burnett laid blame for the twenty-first century squarely on the shoulders of someone he accused of “abusing his executive authority and ignoring the rule of law” to make it happen: President Obama.

“Much like Obamacare, the twenty-first century is something that Montanans never asked for and do not want,” Burnett said.  “It don’t take an ivory tower degree to know that nowhere is the 21st century mentioned by the Constitution.  That is a fact.”

h/t Borowitz report


9 Comments on "Knudsen Vows to Block 21st Century on First Day of Legislative Session"

  1. Dear Cowgirl,
    I do believe I have pocket lint that is smarter than this guy. Make no mistake, never laugh off people like this who are in positions of political power. Their danger lies not in what they say, but in what they don’t say, trying to subvert the democratic process.

    John Marshall

  2. Old Line Democrat | December 19, 2014 9:12 AM at 9:12 AM |

    So, the h/t link is to an article about Sen. Rubio. does this mean that Burnett and the others mentioned are only parroting the words of Rubio or ALEC or some other right wing idea generator? I would like to see a link to the report or article where these folks are actually asserting these pronouncements. Are these truly quotes or merely non-disclosed satire?
    In either case, these folks should be informed that the U.S. Constitution does not mention the 19th or 20th centuries either and we seem to have adjusted to the ideas from those centuries also. One also wonders what they have done for the past 13 years of the 21st century.

  3. Why did Montana Democrats run the 2014 election with one arm behind their back? So we could have this, increasing our chances in 2016.

  4. Ebay the latest to dump ALEC.

    Another pit of money closed off to Conservatives and their corporate Masters!!!

  5. As much as I dislike the lady who runs this website, I dislike Austin Knudsen more. The so called “cow girl” dribbling into politics is comical at best and somewhat ridiculous.

    Mr. Knudsen appears to me to follow what he thinks….not what many of the people in his district think. If we could find a decent candidate out here in the east to run against him, we could retire him back to his farm and law practice…..unfortunately, that is not going to happen. At least not for awhile.

    Your blogs plummeting of Knudsen with “tea party ideas” and “keeping us out of the 21st century” borders on ridiculous at best. It may be that some of these republican legislatures like our state the way it is, with family values and religion as the cornerstone of the state. I don’t have a problem with that. It appears to me they want more freedom for our people. The democrats (the more liberal democrats, such as yourself) seem to want more regulation on everything. I can’t say I like what they are saying either.

    I see one blogger who claims he is smarter than Knudsen. Well, lets see….did that blogger earn a law degree? Does that blogger run a business and farm on the side in his spare time, yet take the time to do the legislature to boot? I certainly don’t like Austin Knudsen’s politics, his assault on public education, his presumed right wing politics, or the fact that he seems to be grand standing his stance. But the guy is no dummy. Best learn to get along with him regardless.

    • Keep in mind Knudsen could not run his farm without government hand-outs, he is a top recipient of our tax dollars (farm subsidies). He is also a healthy 35 or 36 year old that happily accepts healthcare that our tax dollars pay for, more welfare. It’s the “free-market” for all of us….and government welfare for him. I bet he paid for his education with government help too.

  6. “Your blogs plummeting of Knudsen with “tea party ideas” and “keeping us out of the 21st century” borders on ridiculous at best. ”


    Really, plummeting?

    Call me a liberal, whatever. I value freedom and family values and if you have religious values and follow them while leaving me alone I will extend the same respect to you.

    Regulation comes in many forms and people like Mr. Knudson decry regulation of their freedoms while advocating to restrict my freedoms.

  7. What’s next? Will ‘King’ Knudsen mandate girdles (you can bet he’d get some ‘eager’ male inspectors) and pillbox hats? So much for individual freedoms and liberties ‘spouted’ from the right, and designed to ‘chill’ folks, and who is next, citizens testifying at hearings?

    • Being an attorney, what evidence did Speaker Knudsen offer We the People that there was ever a need for this ‘dress up’ memo? Another ‘solution in search of a problem’ that sends a message of some sort? Could he recite ANY incidents of legislative WARDROBE MALFUNCTIONS or what?

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