by Clair Baiz
Claire Baiz attended the University of Montana and graduated Summa Cum Laude with a degree in history and political science from the University of Great Falls. Baiz, a columnist for Signature Montana magazine, has been recently published in the U.S.A. Today and Untitled Magazine. Her short fiction is featured in The J.J. Outre Review and Molotov Cocktail.
It must have been a prank, years ago, when someone put my husband on a right-wing mailing list. I can’t bring myself to toss (or even return) them: they often provide entertaining moments on the brief walk to the recycling bin.
Last week, my husband of 34 years got a letter from Ted Cruz. The senator’s signature was in the upper left corner. The words “CHECK ENCLOSED” were to the right of our home address.
I’m used to solicitations for money, but why would Ted Cruz send Tom Baiz a check? Montana’s open primary isn’t until June. It’s too early to try to buy his vote.
Maybe Republicans have come up with the political equivalent of ‘carbon credits’ and this check is advance compensation for the damage Ted Cruz plans do to the nation.
In that case, there could be a lot of money in there.
I know it’s a violation of federal law to open someone else’s mail, but my husband is visiting his 92-year-old dad and 89-year-old mom. What if the check expired? I had to open it right now, so I could get it to Tom in time to sign it over to Bernie Sanders.
There was a check in there alright. Ted sent a check..TO HIMSELF. Isn’t there a monetary masturbation clause in the postal code that would prohibit this kind of thing? It’s a lie!
But wait. There’s more.
In the letter that came with the check, Cruz eliminated the need for Democrats to choose their own nominee and he’s insulted fellow red-blooded Republicans.
Cruz claims “It is “do or die” time for conservatives in the 2016 presidential race.” (bold face and italics are theirs). “The voting is now underway…to choose our nominee against Hillary Clinton.”
Sanders fought the Iowa caucus to a near dead heat. He trounced Clinton in the New Hampshire primary. Before the Nevada and South Carolina contests, Bernie seems to be holding his own. Though every state from here on out is an uphill battle, and the superdelegate count is less dramatic (and decidedly less democratic), the Democratic nomination doesn’t take place until July.
Cruz’s crowning of Hillary Clinton as the Nominee Laureate comes with a second bold(face) pronouncement: “moderates” are really liberals.”
I’m still looking for photos of Lindsey Graham, John McCain, Bob Dole sporting ‘Proud Liberal’ lapel buttons.
If this is the way Cruz treats his supporters–with a misleading promise (there’s money inside!), a proclamation (forget Bernie), and a sweeping indictment of anyone who’s worried about women’s rights, gun safety, or that pesky constitution (damn liberals!)–how can he expect the general public to trust him?